I went out to dinner a few weeks ago for my birthday at a restaurant close by UCF and named “Logan’s Roadhouse”. They’ve got semi-good barbecue and good appetizer rolls, so I figured it’d be a chill place to relax with my friends before my party. While there, one of them turned to me and said,

Hey, Logan! You’re eating at Logan’s! That’s ironic!

No, it’s not.

Irony isn’t coincidence, and far too many people mistake it for such. Irony is Mary Poppins singing “Stay Awake”. Irony is Regan’s bulletproof car causing a missed assassination shot to ricochet off into his chest. Irony is simply the incongruity of what’s expected–the cognitive dissonance, if you will, resulting from outcomes almost opposite and contrary to one’s anticipations.

Irony is giving up–almost two years ago at this point–meaningless one-night stands with the hopes of finding someone and something more worthwhile and, when encountering such a possibility, having my hesitation toward simple physical releases cause exactly what I was trying to prevent. I’ll admit I’ve done the hook-up thing before; who hasn’t? It’s a fun time while it lasts but ultimately cheats yourself out of the chance for pushing forward. Those few casual encounters I’ve had all ended up with me barely talking to the other person afterward, them and I drifting apart to nothing more than a casual “hey, what’s up” every few months. Is that really how one aims to go through life? It’s certainly not self-fulfilling.

So when the last “I like you, you like me” situation occurred, I aimed to push a different route, take it slow, see where things go. Unfortunately, my goals weren’t reciprocated, and my lack of “let’s have sex now” attitude caused us to both go our separate ways, becoming, at this point, exactly what my one-night stands became. Now isn’t that ironic?

Of course, this post’s sole purpose is not to share pity-evoking details of my life thinly veiled as a discussion on rhetorical concepts: I should fill you, my loyal reader, on what’s been going on in my life! So, in no particular order, here’s what you’ve got to look forward to from me in the coming few months:

• The TL retreat for 2010 TLs is coming up fast! I posted a year ago about my first one and I’ll definitely be doing the same this year; I’m really excited for this new group of TLs!
• I’ve finalized my courses for the fall/spring semesters and I’ll be diving deep into both my RTV-major and theatre minor classes; these should help me get familiar again with shooting regularly, script writing, editing, analysis, etc.
• I’m volunteering at the 2010 Global Peace Film Festival this September in Orlando; hopefully it’ll get me exposed to some people and give me some more experience with event logistics.
• My other writers and I have almost finished compiling the screenplay for my largest attempted film yet, a caper film set at college. This semester should see a finalized script and storyboarding begin.
• Four other plots I’ve been kicking around in my head will start to see the light of day soon, two of them being two “sketch comedy”-esque shorts that can hopefully be filmed and pushed out a lot faster than the more serious pieces. As a tantalizing preview, here’s some slightly-vague loglines for each:
  • Our favorite wizard’s alma mater gets into some trouble with modern bureaucracies
  • Suspenseful thriller set in NASA’s planned 2020 lunar outpost
  • A new English recruit is confused with years-old archetype traditions
  • (Horror film for October)
• I was recently informed by one of my Yale friends of a study-abroad documentary film program in Prague they offer every summer. Methinks I have something to shoot for next summer!

Logan’s tired of writing now; Logan has to play tennis in the morning. Logan out.

That said, I’m severely disappointed it’s not a residential program this year. It was for the nine years before last (all of the times it had run), and due to financial constraints they canceled it entirely last year. At least they had enough to bring it back this summer, but they had to cut the residential portion, which majorly saddens me.

See, when I attended as a camper, those three weeks staying here on campus in Flagler were a blast. There’s just so much community building and bonding that goes on late at night, or through playing card games in the pod, watching movies, etc., that you just can’t get from a daytime-only program. I can only imagine how much more fun both I and the campers would have if we were able to have that available to us this year. That whole sense of belonging is why I briefly considered applying to the O-Team this past year–I’m very jealous of them now and how they get to have that entire experience. Sure, every three days a new group of FTIC students come in for orientation and they’re only with each group for two days at a time, but they still get the pod, they still get to build a community, they still get to hang out with each other and develop their own social circle, etc.

So I’m kinda bummed about the whole aspect. Who knows? Maybe I’ll be an RA in grad school or get to do a residential program like this later in life. Or maybe they’ll bring that portion back for BHCSI next summer. I can only hope!

“Mixx”

Ham! No, turkey. Lettuce, tomatoes. Wait, scratch the tomatoes. Add some onions. With cheese? Yeah, American. Footlong, too. Maybe a bit of oil and vinegar. Now that’s a good sandwich.

Waiting in the line to order, I was trying to figure out what I wanted for lunch. I think I must have gone over the menu three or four times before I decided.

Hello! Who are you?

I spotted him a few places down in line. All-American boyish looks, average hair like all the kids wear it these days. Jeans, t-shirt. Strikingly cute, but not my normal type. He was chatting with a friend of his, probably trying to decide the same thing I had settled on just moments before. I caught his eye briefly before stepping up to the counter; I think he was wondering what I was looking at.

—–

A few days later, I’m getting ready for the reception. I’ve spent a couple weeks preparing for it and I’m pretty sure I’m ready. I’m not really nervous, either, just excited. Walking into the hall to get started, I notice him again—he’s here, at the reception! I guess he was invited, too. Not that I mind, of course.

—–

Everything goes off without a hitch. Everyone in attendance loved it and had a great time! I’m glad it went well. A bunch of us decided to go to an after party and relax—I’m always game to celebrate.

John, Travis, Sara, Nikki, Patrick, Ted. OK, I don’t know that girl. Or that one, or the guy over there. Come to think of it, there’s a lot more people here than I thought and I don’t know most of them! This should be fun.

I wandered over to the kitchen to grab a drink—sweet tea vodka and lemonade—and sat down at one of the tables. They were playing a drinking game, some variation off euchre. I quickly joined in and made some new friends; one of the girls, Laney, was very chatty and very wasted. They taught me some new drinking games I had never heard of before and, as could be expected, I soon joined Laney in our euphoric stupor. Someone turned on a stereo and started playing some music—yeah, I think I can dance to this. Pretty soon everyone was on their feet dancing around, singing aloud, laughing and giggling. I was enjoying myself a lot until he walked in.

Shit, I’m drunk and he’s gonna think I’m an ass. I don’t even know what to say to him—should I introduce myself? Should I just go over and start talking? What if I play a drinking game with him, loosen things up first?

As luck would have it, Travis knew him and could tell I was being too indecisive, so he swooped in and brought me over to him.

“Jason, here’s the friend I was telling you about.”

I stood there, quavering at first, not knowing what to say. At least I know his name now.

“Hey,” I awkwardly said and offered my hand.

He replied the same and shook hands with me. We stared uncomfortably for a few seconds before he wandered off with his friends.

Dammit! What an idiot. Could I have been more awkward?! There’s no way he’d be interested in me after that.

Still, I had been down that road before—not knowing how to approach a guy—and finally figured that if I don’t take some risks in life, I’ll never get anywhere. So I walked up to him again.

“You look thirsty.”

Yeah, a stupid line. Maybe it’d work.

“Guess I am! What are you drinking?”

“Firefly. Want a cup?”

Thank god he said yes. We walked over together and I poured him a glass before we returned to the table. Laney was pretty far gone by now, to the point she was stumbling over both her words and her feet. She tried getting up only to dizzily fall back down, laughing.

“Maybe we should help her to a bed,” Jason offered.

“Good idea.”

We each take one of her arms and half carry her upstairs. When we reach the room she’ll sober up in we gently lay her on the bed and sit down next to her, exhausted from both the lifting and our own drinks. Maybe it was the alcohol, but I suddenly had the urge to kiss him—that’s not like me, jumping into things so fast. Still, it couldn’t hurt to go a bit further, so I put my hand on his thigh and looked up at him.

“You know, I thought you were cute since I saw you at Subway the other day. I think I have a crush on you.”

Jason simply smiled and said, “you’re pretty cute, too. Let’s see where this goes.”

He leaned in to kiss me—fuck my inhibitions, I wanted this too. I eagerly returned the advance, tongues entwining together. What shot through me next was this incredible feeling in my stomach: butterflies? Lust? Drunken toxins? Whatever it was, it was pure bliss and I sure as hell wasn’t stopping.

—–

After we finished playing our own round of “Seven Minutes in Heaven” Jason offered me a ride back home. That was sweet of him—romantic, too, him being all gentleman-like. When we got to my apartment door we hesitated for a second before kissing again—hell, we already made out, what’s wrong with a quick kiss good night? I told him I’d love to see him again and he just gave me one of his cheeky smiles before heading back to his car.

What a night.

—–

Fast-forward a week. I’m working at my desk when this guy comes up to me and introduces himself.

“Hi! I’m Darius. I’ve heard a lot about you!”

“Hopefully good things,” I responded.

He chuckled and explained yes, they were all good things. Apparently Darius was at the party a week ago but never got the chance to say hi to me. He saw me descend from the second floor with Jason right before we left and wanted to make sure that things went alright from that point on. Parties, whether high school, college, or otherwise, they never change. You always gotta be careful around who’s there, he reasons. Thanks, I tell him, but everything turned out fine. I wasn’t raped if that’s what he’s asking.

“Oh gosh, no, that’s not what I meant! I’m good friends with Jason; I know he wouldn’t do something like that. I’ve just seen people like Laney get into trouble before and hoped it didn’t happen to you, too. Glad it worked out for you!”

Darius walked away, leaving me wondering exactly who else was at that party and what, if anything, I missed.

Again, I ask: how does it end?

(Forewarning: this’ll probably be sporadic and jump around a lot. Screw transitory phrases; it’s 9:50pm on a Friday and I’ve nothing better to do! Don’t care about updates to my life? You don’t have to read this!)

I changed majors again. Again (again), again. I think that’s four times now? Computer Science to M&M to Event Management to RTV. I think I’ve finally found what I wanna stick with because, even throughout all those majors, I still always had my camera on hand, filming events, writing stories to shoot, editing, and trying out After Effects compositions. Now I get to do all of that fun stuff for my classes! And I took on a third minor in Theatre, mainly so I can tech backstage at some of the performances UCF runs. That’s a big thing I miss from high school.

I completed an internship last week for Cybis Communications, a local video productions company here in Orlando. We went out to Disney for a week, stayed at their hotel, did all of the load-in and setup, graphics, videography, editing, audio, etc; pretty much all of the stuff I wanted to back when I was an EM major. I had a great time and wouldn’t mind working with them again, especially for the experience and contacts. I should probably start hanging around CAB’s VPC more often with my new major…

I went to my first “house party” two weeks ago! I was a bit nervous at first, but after meeting a few of the people (and seeing some familiar faces there) I was a lot more relaxed. I didn’t drink, though, since I was driving myself, but I did learn a bunch of drinking games. They were very fun and I played some with my friends the week after. I think I want to go to some more house parties but I just don’t know where to find them or who to ask…

I had what’s technically my first kiss, although it didn’t turn out how I’d hoped and no, I’m not saying anymore on the subject. On a somewhat-related note, Harry Potter 6 (the movie) has this rather terrifying Exorcist-esque scene at Hogsmeade. I was a bit scared.

The 4th of July is this weekend! You’d think for what is the 4th of July weekend it’d just be parties non-stop, although the beginning of this weekend so far was essentially me finishing out the first season of White Collar. Tomorrow is going out to a club with some of my friends and Sunday (July 4th itself) we’ll have a BBQ and fireworks. Monday we’re all off from school and work, so I have no clue yet what to do.

My car’s up here in Orlando! Lance is off being a counselor at camp for the summer (and he’ll be starting his freshman year at UF in August) so I was finally able to bring it northward. It’s excellent being able to drive myself around instead of having to rely on others for rides. On the other hand, driving gives me the ability to go to the grocery store, which means no mealplan, which means I have to start feeding myself 24/7. Not that I mind, it’s just a small annoyance at times.

(Probably because of my switch of major) I’ve had a “creativity rush” in terms of writing stuff recently. More storylines for the main film I’m working on, some new ideas entirely, a new song (lyrics + tune, fuck yeah!), and even recording/mixing/posting some multitrack a cappella stuff on YouTube. I had a really brief idea for a story that I decided to turn into a film, song, or both when I realized that generally, I can’t write stories, and I do envy my friends that can do creative writing in that manner. (When I create, I’m always thinking in film/TV terms, camera angles, editing techniques, etc. to the story, not as much characterization, which bothers me.)

I’m training for a half-marathon! The furthest I’ve run so far is 9.6 miles and with my current plan I’ll definitely hit it by the end of summer and before fall semester starts. Running is really fantastic!

In another two weeks I’ll hold three concurrent jobs with the Honors College along with my Studio Director position at Knightcast. At least I’m making some money for myself! BHCSI is going to fun considering I’ve done it once before from the camper’s perspective. The Symposium Coordinator job will mainly be prep work for the retreat in late August since much of it doesn’t really apply until fall semester. Being a Peer Ambassador for Honors Orientation was on the whole an exciting experience (I gained much respect for the O-Teamers that are able to do those long days week in and week out, time after time, every session) and I get to do one make-up session toward the end of July. We also revamped everything over at Knightcast, recently getting a brand-new webserver, DJ computer, genre streaming system, audio console cable, and archiver. Somehow I don’t think anyone reading this is too interested in that last sentence.

I’m gonna try to update this blog more often, especially given this month is my birthday and my last month of being a teenager. You’d think I’d feel young at 20 but I already feel old at 19. What’s up with that?

To my roommates and friends outside in my living room as I’m writing this: quiet down! I need to get some sleep for my 7am run tomorrow…

This means that, hopefully, by the end of the summer, I’ll have the longest screenplay ever I’ve helped to create! And then it’s off to storyboarding and such other fun aspects of pre-production. What joy!

(In case you can’t tell, all of this stems from YET ANOTHER change of my major; this time to Radio/Television Production. I think I’m still gonna graduate in four years with a major and three minors. Hot stuff.)

If you’re interested in some of the technical principles I came across while shooting this, read on. The biggest problem I ended up having with this film was loss of my audio takes from the shoots: I shot the film in my camera’s 24p mode which wraps the 24 progressive frames in a 60i stream, thus necessitating a reverse telecine process to extract them out. When doing this in After Effects and rendering out the subsequent frames, I lost all my initial audio takes because AE’s default render options doesn’t include audio–I’ve since learned to ALWAYS check that audio rendering is enabled. I ended up recording all the audio in separate takes and dubbing them in afterwards–lip-syncing is almost impossible on film. The second thing I really learned about in making this film was the importance of storyboarding. Although I shot a lot of b-roll and had all of the shots I wanted, I realized both while shooting and editing that my mis-en-scene looked a bit capricious, as if I didn’t really have a grand idea at the time as to exactly how I wanted to scene to look. I realize now that, by storyboarding out the exact process and shots beforehand, it’ll probably make shooting go a lot faster and ensure in editing I know exactly what goes when.

Be happy.

• CERT Team member
• CPR/First Aid/AED certified
• Ham radio license
• Knightcast–technical director
• Knightnews–videographer
• Honors College–team leader
• Urban Gaming Club–president
• Fencing–vice president
• Kars–expediting involvement
• (Hopefully) Crescendudes A Cappella group
• GLBSU Diva Invasion–shooting video and filming as part of CAB VPC
• CAB VPC

Have I forgotten anything? Remind me if I have. Looking at it all, I’m surprised I’m still in school.

About the speech itself: I guess there were three main parts I felt a bit confused or at-odds with, so maybe some of you out there in Internet-land can post some comments and help clear up my thoughts about all this:

1. “That’s why under my plan, individuals will be required to carry basic health insurance”: I’m generally against the government requiring things of individuals–Obama likened it to car insurance, which I also think is a bit of a crock but the point is: is this a good thing, to require people to carry health insurance? Especially those who just don’t want it? What if I don’t want it but can easily pay all costs of my medical treatment and agree to cover myself without any external help?
2. “There are also those who claim that our reform effort will insure illegal immigrants. This, too, is false”: WHOAH, a ton of people even in Congress were booing and going crazy over this. Is that because they did like this statement, or disagreed with it? Personally, it doesn’t make a lot of sense to me that we should be supporting illegal immigrants, but on the other hand if they’re not citizens yet but in the process of doing so I think we should. Thoughts?
3. “Under our plan, no federal dollars will be used to fund abortions”: OK, I understand this is a hot-button issue. But coming from my pro-choice point-of-view, I don’t entirely understand this either, unless the government has already taken a pro-life stance?

All in all it seemed like a well-written speech (note I’m not commenting much on its content) and the delivery went off smoothly. Well, with the exception of the fact that the chamber seemed like a football locker room alternating between standing ovations (fifteen or so in all!) after every sentence and half the crowd sneering at Obama. Oh, and Pelosi looked like she wanted to shiv the guy who yelled in the middle of it…awesome stuff, those political people!

This activity is going to involve handling balls.

Alvin, Alvin!!!! (Theodore, Simon!)

Mmrrrmm, roofies

EYES, THROAT, GROIN

And so much more–I gotta talk to Brenna because I’m pretty sure she was writing down quotes all retreat long as they happened. TLs who happen to read/see this–what was your favorite part? Any good quotes I forgot? And see if you can match the above quote to who said it!